Doctor, doctor, I need a cure
'Cause I got a problem that I can't endure
Too much of this and too little of that
First I was too thin and now I'm way too fat
There is something wrong with me
I've become my own enemy
My back hurts 'cause my bed's too hard
Some blow is stuck on my credit card
I feel sick when I play my PS2 and my game cube too
There is something wrong with me
I've become my own enemy
I've got welfare problems
And I can't get you out of my mind
Doctor, doctor, I need a cure
'Cause I got a problem that I can't endure
If I drink from Monday to Friday
Then I'm too tired to drink on Saturday
There is something wrong with me
I've become my own enemy
I've got welfare problems
And I can't get you out of my mind
Welfare problems
One for the money, two for the show
Took a piss outside and I ate the snow
I've got welfare problems
And I can't get you out of my mind