When I run into friends of mine I haven`t seen in years
They give me the once over then their eyes well up with tears
Then they pronounce me looking great I haven`t changed a bit
I flash `em back a feeble smile I know I look like shit
`Cos I saw myself this morning phew and I know of what I speak
I`m a human being but I look like I reek
And a weaker bathroom lightbulb just might take care of it
`Cos the mirror shatters your illusions when you look like shit
Shit comes in different colours and consistencies
I guess that I`m just aging like the finest wines and cheeses
The guy that`s me who`s in my dreams is twenty five or six
I`m old enough to be his dad how`s that for parlour tricks
Life`s a job you`re fired from unless of course you quit
Gee I wonder if that old blind guy knows that he looks like shit
Let`s ask him
`Scuse me No over here
Although I know it`s natural I still can`t understand
Once I looked like a million bucks now more like two grand
We start out with a lot of time but what happens to it
Times flies when you fuck around and then you look like shit
Oh ain`t it the truth brothers and sisters
Shit comes in different colours and consistencies
Shit`s a gift we make Freud said
here take mine won`t you please
Growing old ain`t easy it`s a process so they say
We proceed to our grand finales every single day
But dying doesn`t worry me I`m not bothered a bit
I just don`t like the thought of lying there looking like shit