So it's nearly time for me to go
but I want to thank you for being here
It's been a pleasure
I mean that truly
and now I'm going to do a convoluted tune
A composition that I'm particularly proud of
Never been a fellow to be down with the Gs
hardly ever collect felonies out on the street
My criminal record took minimal effort
to scribble and get all it down on a sheet
Me I can do without the police
See I'm a dude renowned to be tedious
No pissing about I'm serious
I really just sit around on a seat
Read a book put it down have a wee
'til I feel I've had enough then I slouch in my PJs
These days when I'm counting my sheep
it takes me ages drowsing to sleep
Feel I'm thousands of feet out of my league
like a floundering dinghy down in the deep
People shouting at me I'm not allowed on a beat
but there's four times more that'll tell me I'm sweet
I found my release when I bought me a mic
and recorded a tight lyric down on a beat
with the sound so loud that the speakers
melt with the heat cos I'm Dan to the B
One two I'm counting to three
then I want you to bounce to the beat
From the North to the West to the South to the East
we can all get well rowdy
I oughtn't lie I mean demographically
there's a hypothesis I support
that I am the more priviliged in all of society
quite unlike the baller I try and be
I was born in a nice region
and brought up politely
so I was taught to mind my Ps and Qs
and make way for OAPs in queues
I'm a decent dude peaceful too
but on a beat I speak with lethal truth
This sequel to my debut album's
a way to tell them the good news
That I'm a middle class kid from the Midlands
less safe more like how you diddling
I'm like a Polo without the middle in
more whole than the hole to fill it in
though I'm a bitter kid just a little bit
bringing mint lyrics but no one's listening
but I'm in the zone and I'm coveting the throne
so I'm not gonna give it in gloves coming off and
I'm boxing until I win
Watch when I'm in the ring
roundhouse my doubts bopping them in the chin
Plot thickening along with the smoke
but I'm not gonna choke I've got ventolin
Like when I kicked my bong and it broke
it allowed me the freedom to breathe the air again
and now that I'm clean and the songs that I wrote then
are out and they're seen I am proud to be me
You could tell when I'd been chilling out with some weed
I couldn't leave the house you could smell the Febreze
Now when I'm out on an evening in town I'm a demon
downing indecent amounts of Ribena
'til I'm down on my knees and in pieces
weeping shouting help me please
but when I'm having doubts about my belief
I just tell myself that I'm proud to be me
One two I'm counting to three
then I want you to bounce to the beat
From the North to the West to the South to the East
we can all get well rowdy