The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over Adam Sandler

[Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets pulled over by a cop. [Cop:] Do you realize how fast you were going sir?

The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson Adam Sandler

[Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets to meet his favorite film actor, Mel Gibson. [Man:] Mr. Gibson?

The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman Adam Sandler

Setting: A restaurant with music playing in the background] "And now the Excited Southerner proposes to a girl." Girl: "You wanted to ask me something?" Excited Southerner: "Yes, I did.

The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview Adam Sandler

[Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner has a job interview. [Man:] So why don't you tell me why you would be an asset to this company.

The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal Adam Sandler

Hi, how are you...I was...if you could, tell me, if you...eh, the chef salad, if it, does it come, if you come... a la carte, if you see the...I saw the breakfast menu and the, and they got the, and

The Adventures Of The Cow Adam Sandler

for the very first time, and thinks his parachute isn't gonna open when it finnally does 40 feet from the ground" [Plane sounds] [M1:] Alright cow, don't even think about just jump and enjoy the ride

What The Hell Happened To Me? Adam Sandler

What the hell happened to me? I used to have fun throwing snowballs. With my best friend Billy. Then Mom would make us cocoa if we got too chilly. But now I only get excited when I see a girl pee.

Do It For Your Mama Adam Sandler

[Sails over and falls to the ground] Jimmy: "Nice throw. Right over the fence and into the Chasen's yard." Momma: "Don't get all huffy puffy. I'll get it. Momma will make everything all right.

ode to my car Adam Sandler

Here we go Piece of shit car I got a piece of shit car That fuckin' pile of shit Never gets me very far My car's a big piece of shit 'Cause the shocks are fucking shot And my seatbelt's fucking

The Buffoon and the Valedictorian Adam Sandler

And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian." Valedictorian: "I really appreciate you're asking me out. Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement."

Pickin' Daisies Adam Sandler

what's the matter honey, are you not feeling well?

Secret (Orange Factory's 'Shhh Don't Tell Club') Adam Sandler

How it could be Until you shared your secret with me Mmm mmm (skip for the first two times) Something's comin' over, mmm mmm Something's comin' over, mmm mmm Something's comin' over me My baby's got a

The Respect Chant Adam Sandler

Respect Respect You gotta show the fucking respect [Repeat Over And Over

Respect Adam Sandler

Respect You gotta show the fucking respect Over And Over

The Longest Pee Adam Sandler

"Oh Man" [.......gets louder] "OH MAN" [..........and louder] "OH MAN!!" [............as loud as a hose] "OH MAN!!! OH.." [...........] "Oh no!" [........] "Oh Man!"

Teenage Love on the Phone Adam Sandler

Hey Richie, my dad's down the hall, and he doesn't want me on the phone. So if I hang up on you, it's just because he's coming." Richie: "Ok.

Gay Robot Adam Sandler

Nah, it was my neighbor, his robot's comin over What? Yeah, he built a robot a while ago and the robot came out gay Yo, we're out of Hunnyduffers so I grabbed a couple of Gooseheads...

Secret Adam Sandler

But if I did that then it wouldn't be, a secret I've gotta move my body tonight, I'm gonna go dancin' Dreamin' bout the nights at the club, with the fun and romancin' Mommy sees the look in my eyes, she

mr. bake Adam Sandler

I'm sitting in my chair watching the TV It's not even on but there's plenty for me to see I just lit some crazy ass shit that my friend overnight mailed to me I'm fucking wasted It's the best

Mr. Bake-O Adam Sandler

I think they fuckin laced it Cause i'm so damb lambaseted Well my friend came over So i packed him a pipe I told him he better go easy with this shit But he didnt beleave the hype He sparked three bowls

Oh Mom... Adam Sandler

Silverware clicking] M1: "Can you pass the beats please?" F1: "Here you go" M1: "Thanks" Brad: "Hey Mom, guess what? I got invited to a party tonight! And I'm gonna go if that's ok with you."

At a Medium Pace Adam Sandler

Now sit on the corner of the bed and watch me whack off. You see that shampoo bottle? Now, stick it up my ass. Push it in and out at a medium pace.

The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Adam Sandler

And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college."

The Goat Adam Sandler

Present day, I've been on the truck for 51 years My only friend is the AM radio Sometimes the neighborhood children stop by But it's always rocks and beer bottles they throw At first they're excited

Forgetful Lucy Adam Sandler

La-woo-kee-low is the place Where I first saw your face We liked each other right away But you didn’t remember me the very next day Forgetful Lucy Has got a nice caboose-ie I used to trick you

The Goat Song (Album Version) Adam Sandler

Present day, I've been on the truck for 51 years My only friend is the AM radio Sometimes the neighborhood children stop by But it's always rocks and beer bottles they throw At first they're excited

the goat song Adam Sandler

Present day, I've been on the truck for 51 years My only friend is the AM radio Sometimes the neighborhood children stop by But it's always rocks and beer bottles they throw At first they're excited

The Boss And The Secretary Adam Sandler

You know what I need Uh, no I don't, sir I want you to come on over here, fish my cock out of these trousers, and suck on it for a while! Sir, I don't think I can do something like that!

She Comes Home To Me Adam Sandler

Though I have been a fool for love I have finally made my score I got a girl, and I don't mean to boast But she loves me the most Even though she's a highly paid whore She'll give head to a sheep She can

lunchlady land Adam Sandler

"It's through the eyes of one of the greatest people alive, I feel..."

fatty mcgee Adam Sandler

M1: "Well we came to the right place, the ever so quiet library." M2: "Ok, enough talking, let's study!" M1: "All right." [Turning pages] [Heavy steps] M2: "Uh oh" M1: "Oh no!

four years old Adam Sandler

I'm not in the mood To play your games Or sit on your lap You Where's my Yankees drinking glass?

Whitey Adam Sandler

have rigged the hearing lady at Ben and Jerry's Shake Then I go to Pet Land where the manager stands has about to be the dangorous stake Then I pass the tie rack on my way to Radioshack where I pretent

The Mule Session Adam Sandler

My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean My sister's on the dope and my brother always picks his nose And Daddy's only happy when he's wearing Mama's

Sid & Alex Adam Sandler

Amy made lasagna, we had cake, the kids gave me a tie and some socks, terrific. That's awesome, man. Hey, I got a gift comin your way too. I Fedex'ed it so you should probly get it tomorrow.

at a medium place Adam Sandler

your skin I'm about to begin Lovin' you Spit on your hand and stroke my cock At a medium pace Play with my balls and tell me How big they are Honey, rub your beaver Up and down my face Sit on the

Pibb Goes Surfing Adam Sandler

Pibb It wasn't too painful a paddle out here to the big waves as you like to call em, Sonny! Didn't look it Actually, it was a nice wake-me-up for my laticerace muscles Water's pretty nice, huh?

Pibb Tries The Skateboarding Adam Sandler

Just remember that the half pipe ain't the easiest thing to do... Never mind all that, boy! It's only half the pipe! Let's be concerned when they got the whole thing here! Right...

Toll Booth Willie Adam Sandler

Toll Booth Willie: "The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop." M2: "That's fine. Now should I give you the money, or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?"

food innuendo guy Adam Sandler

food innuendo guy Baby, baby, baby, you got honeydew melons Baby, baby, baby, can't you see my brocolli swelin Oh baby, baby, baby, I wanna taste your watercress I wanna slip my celery stick up the

Dancin` And Pantsin` Adam Sandler

But I found a place where the stars hang out And they taught me how to funk Real nasty It ain't too far away It's just on the edge of town Nearby But be ready when you get there 'Cause these folks

Dancin' And Pantsin' Adam Sandler

I found a place where the stars hang out And they taught me how to funk Real nasty It ain't too far away It's just on the edge of town Nearby But be ready when you get there 'Cause these folks don't fuck

Sex Or Weight Lifting Adam Sandler

[Adam Sandler] : Hey how ya doin'? My name's Barry Lakin and I'm here with the man on the street quiz. This weeks's show is a doozy man, it really is.

Calling Home Adam Sandler

That could be nice You wanna head over to that frat party and start shotgunning some beers? Just give me a few minutes, I gotta call my family, tell em I'm all situated here... Good deal...

The Hypnotist Adam Sandler

Stewart: Basically I just want you to sit back and relax let yourself sit back and relax and sink into the chair, and , um, just feel comfortable and trust me.

Memory Lane Adam Sandler

"Hey, it reminds me of smelling a pussy" [all agree] [M2:] "It reminds me of smelling an ass" [all agree] [M4:] "It reminds me of smelling a 60 year old guys ass" [car screeches, he drops out of the

Right Field Adam Sandler

[Shouting] "Pitch 'em the funny one, Robert! Big whiffer! Big whiffer!" [Whispering] "Oh he is a natural athlete and I am so worthless. Please God, take his life. Make him die."

Inner Voice Adam Sandler

I'm happily married with a house and three mistresses Even with the beard I'm not as hairy as my sister is Got a new Hummer, two Ferraris, and some Lexuses And all the girls I know got the big big breasteses

Hot Water Burn Baby Adam Sandler

[Ryan:] baby sister [Father:] So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over some safety rules for when you're around your new baby sister.

The Peeper Adam Sandler

The peeper, The peeper, Whats going through his head? Whoah! Climbing the tree. Slowly, quietly, Looking for next branch. Found it, got it. Window height, great view. Settlin' in, keepin it quiet.