<< I Was Hoping >>
--- Alanis Morissette
as we were talking outside it was cold we were shivering yet warmed by
the
subject matter
my wife is in the next room we've been having troubles you know please
don't
tell her or anyone
but I need to talk to somebody
you said "Wouldn't it be a shame if I knew how great I was five
minutes before
I died I'd be filled
with such regret before I took my last breath" and I said "You're
willing to
tell me this now
and you're not going to die any time soon"
and I said I haven't been eating chicken or meat or anything and you
said yes
but you've been wearing leather and laughed and said we're at the top
of the
food chain
and yes you're still a fine woman I cringed
I was hoping I was hoping we could heal each other
I was hoping I was hoping we could be raw together
we left the restaurant where the head waiter (in his 60's) said
"good-bye sir
thank you for your business sir you're
successful and established sir and we like the frequency with which
you dine
here sir
and your money" and when I walked by they said "thank you too dear" I
was all
pigtails and cords
and there was a day when I would've said something like "hey dude I
could buy
and sell this place so kiss it"
I too once thought I was owed something
I was hoping I was hoping we could challenge each other
I was hoping I was hoping we could crack each other up
I too thought that when proved wrong I lost somehow
I too once thought life was cruel
It's a cycle really you think I'm withdrawing and guilt tripping you I
think
you're insensitive
and I don't feel heard and I said do you believe we are fundamentally
judgmental? Fundamentally evil?
and you said yes I said I don't believe in revenge in right or wrong
good or
bad you said
"well what about the man that I saw handcuffed in the emergency room
bleeding
after beating his kid
and she threw a shoe at his head.
I think what he did was wrong and I would've had a hard time feeling
compassion for him"
I had to watch my tone for fear of having you feel judged
I was hoping I was hoping we could dance together
I was hoping I was hoping we could be creamy together