One such disciple of certain schools of crumbling unfiltered thought,
Gold medals of success shivering next to those I’ve already caught,
Deep down in my head I know that I’m nothing if not a mugshot tiger,
Throw on my hat, pick up my bell and become the town crier.
‘Hey take one sec, prick your ears up quick, the fanfare’s belting silver!’
Shimmers of flag-like unfurling ties on shining polyester,
Kids filming, phones, looks like some vigil snaking along the pavement,
‘Look out America, here I come!’
The King of England!
You ain’t seen nothing yet!
Mr. Brown takes one last drag, flicks the butt out into the night.
Goes home, gets bored and watches porn, chiding himself: ‘it’s a vice.’
Wakes to the sound of trumpets belting out and into the street,
Looks out and cracks a smile and then from the open window retreats.
As if touched by love, or some such secret telling final truth,
He falls back onto his bed laughing,
Runs down, pulls on both his shoes.
‘They’re throwing pound coins at the crowd, Mr. Brown! Don’t you want in?
They’re burning flags and cars and martyrs for some very good reason.’
Homing down the packed and swaying pavements, donning his crown,
His gait becomes a stride while in his mind he’s killed Mr. Brown,
Looks up, sees a gold empty throne hoisted on shoulders of his subjects, baying, siren-like,
Who’s the king of England!
Look who’s laughing now!
The King of England!
England, take a bow!
Britannia! Ruled and enslaved my ancestors across Caribbean waves
And siphoned sugar to the Tate,
While the Raj decimated my mother’s land.
Oh, indigo, India.
A tea leaf is a bitter sip,
Toiled under the slaver’s whip,
Yet let it urge your delusions of empire
to cure this pestilent ignorance.
Hear me, hear me oh reckoning bell!
What values are your union built on?
For you cannot serve both God and Mammon.
Destruction derby: Aston Martin vs Mercedes Benz.
Two world wars, one world cup- don’t think that we won’t do it again.
No need to re-read reams of terms and conditions, click agree!
This island’s got what the world needs…
The king of England!
Look who’s laughing now!
The King of England!
England, take a bow!